Ol’ George’s Beard

In “Anecdotal Tales”, stories will be told. Some will be fun, some will not. Some will be great, some will be less so. Some stories are true, some are merely possible. This is one of them.

Ol’ George’s Beard

I’m gonna tell a tale you’ve never heard
And you should believe every single word.
Let me warn you it’s a little bit weird;
This is the story of ol’ George’s Beard.

It’s a mighty beard like you’ve never seen.
It started to grow when he was fifteen.
George looked in the mirror, liked what he saw,
Thought it made him tough; a dark outlaw.

The last sixty years he’s refused to crop
A growth that outdoes even ZZ Top.
It takes a week to make a ponytail,
Which ends up looking like a creature’s tail.

The colors of hair are quite a fun sight.
He’s got red, gray, black, brown and even white.
One doesn’t need to be a clever whiz
To know a stray eight-foot hair was once his.

When children see George they are filled with hope;
He assists when they forget their jump rope.
Ol’ Bruce is ready when it’s time to sweep
But his shampoo bill often makes him weep.

If even one hair makes its way down the drain,
You should hear the plumbers curse and complain.
His cleaning regiment is pretty tough
Yet without it there are mounds of dandruff.

There are days when ol’ George has had enough,
He wants to shave off his record-length scruff
Each time the thought is dismissed with chagrin;
He has never liked the look of his chin.

Should you see it, try and get a good peek.
Ol’ George is quite kind, he has no mean streak.
He’s pretty good at welcoming new friends.
But try not to point at all the split ends.

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